


Demons From My Head

by ASingleEgg



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Everyone else is normal by the way, Her Rebel Akaashi is so, Inspired By Mookie000's art, Kuroo has piercings, M/M, Mental Abuse, Multi, Queerplatonic Relationships, Rebel!Akaashi Keiji, Smoking, Sorry Not Sorry, They're drabbles and oneshots pretty much, Ugh, akaashi has piercings too, also friendships - Freeform, and maybe a little physical abuse, but then again the timeline will be all over the place so, dont you just love my random way of tagging, drug usage, except for a few things, it's kind of implied that they're in college, kenma gets piercings at some point, obviously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-08-19 02:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8185730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASingleEgg/pseuds/ASingleEgg
Summary: An angsty and fluffy collection of boakakuroken drabbles





	1. 1.0

**Author's Note:**

> The song tittle is a lyric from 'i've got a lot of fear for the day that we'll be dead' by 93feetofsmoke ft. velvetears
> 
> I apologize is my writing is crappy, or the characters are ooc, or if updates are completely inconsistent. There's no point in listing off excuses, like how i'm still in school or how i have a lot of things going on, it's simply because I'm a fairly lazy person. I promise to try my best, though I've never been good with multi-chapter shit.  
> Also, Mookie's Rebel!Akaashi keiji:  
> http://65.media.tumblr.com/6362a455c31c7f6802bcc137a36df4c8/tumblr_inline_ni5ieqWVJX1qha64i.png  
> http://66.media.tumblr.com/49537fabb24220ea248e820388e5dfe3/tumblr_inline_ni7kggrR361qha64i.png  
> http://67.media.tumblr.com/c681b40ad8abbcc3cc77b3dd5399b586/tumblr_nr31ky7G4e1qij4gjo1_r1_500.png  
> https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B7IYbpuCQAAIaGP.png

        _It isn't nice to stare_ , Kenma reminds himself, but he can't seem to take his eyes off of the other setter. Really, it's not his fault, it's Akaashi's fault for bleaching his hair and getting multiple piercings, but he still could at least try and be discreet about the fact he's gawking at the other. Averting his eyes, finally, the pudding head tries to collect his thoughts and pull them away from the now blonde Akaashi.  
        He can hear Kuro and Bokuto relentlessly question Akaashi, though the male isn't giving them many answers. Even though Akaashi looks different, he doesn't act too different, and that piece of information is kind of comforting to Kenma. Truthfully, Kenma doesn't like change - he never has - and when he first saw Akaashi, with a cigarette between his lips and bright blonde hair with piercings on his ears, Kenma didn't know what to do. He didn't want to upset Akaashi, and he knew that if he said anything before he calmed down he'd end up saying something stupid, so instead Kenma just stayed silent and stared.  
        It might not have been the best idea, and it would have been even worse if Akaashi caught him staring, but after a while he found that things hadn't entirely changed. Akaashi still is the Akaashi Kenma first met, the Akaashi that sighed when Bokuto and Kuro had a stupid idea and made sure that they didn't somehow force Kenma to join them.  
        That simple fact might have been one of the most comforting things to the pudding head at the moment.  
        Finally, inhaling a breath of air, Kenma slowly looked over at the others and shuffled over. None of them noticed him, probably because Bokuto and Kuro were still focused on Akaashi and Akaashi was focused on them, but soon enough Akaashi glanced in his direction. The blonde observes him, as if making sure the other setter is alright, before turning back to Kuro and Bokuto with that same 'I'm listening but that doesn't mean I care' look that he always seemed to wear. The situation was so normal, so natural to the four of them, that Kenma questions why he even so scared in the first place. Watching all of them made a smile slip onto his face, and he quickly ducked his head down when Bokuto's attention turned to him.  
        "Kenma! You're smiling!" He states loudly, which prompts for the other two to look over at the short boy.  
        He doesn't reply, instead just turns his head away so that his hair creates a curtain. He can still see the others though, and notes that Bokuto's grin has somehow brightened while Kuroo is now giving him that knowing smirk.  
        _Everything is normal, nothing's really changed_ , Kenma reminds himself while his small smile widens just a bit.


	2. 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma's eyes are lidded by now, the high of the drug mixing with the high of the same calm euphoria that Akaashi's forest green eyes held when they had started this.

Kenma is sat on the floor, in between Akaashi's legs while the faux-blonde runs his fingers through the blonde's hair with a certain kind of gentleness that only Akaashi seems to possess. The cold light from Kenma's face illuminates his and Akaashi's face, while the light from the noon sun flows into the room and gives both of the setter's pale skin a bright glow.  
Kenma leans his head back, suddenly pausing his game as he shifts so that he can rest his head on the younger's shoulder. Akaashi glances down at him, not saying anything as the blonde looks up at him. Kenma can hear the faint sound of his game playing from his lap, as well as the excited yells of Kuroo and Bokuto outside, but nothing disturbs the quiet peace that has settled in the room.  
If Kenma squints, he can still see the lingering smoke from whatever Akaashi had been smoking earlier - before Kenma had came in and settled in between the other's legs and started playing a random video game. He can just barely taste it on his tongue now, and curiosity eats away at him as his golden eyes wander carefully around the room before his gaze comes back to the the pierced faux-blonde.  
"I wanna try," Kenma mummers, and Akaashi seems confused for a moment before piecing together what Kenma means. The two have been like this for a while, Kenma saying vague statements and Akaashi piecing together the meaning after a moment. Kenma's glad that, while he has Kuro who knows him like the back of his hand, Akaashi's a observant person as well as a reserved one.  
"I'm not sure you should, Kozume-san," He replies, looking off to the side as if avoiding the older's gaze. Kenma knows that's exactly what he's doing at the moment, so he tugs at Akaashi's sleeve in an attempt to get the other to look at him. It works, even if Akaashi only glances at him before sighing quietly.  
Kenma has always been somewhat curious, though never to the point that he acts on that curiosity. This is one of the rare times that he is acting on it, and hopes that Akaashi will actually say yes to his small request instead of refusing - since Kenma doesn't feel like sneaking around to try and get his way.   
"I feel like those two have been a bad influence on you," He says, lips pulling up into a small smile as he looks down at the smallest of his boyfriends. Kenma understands that this is a 'yes', and shuffles away from Akaashi so the other can get up. "Though, I guess I'm glad you're getting more confident Kozume-san," He continues as an afterthought as he stands and walks over to the desk in the room, back turned to Kenma so the other can't see what he's doing.   
When he turns around, he's holding something in between his long fingers - which Kenma knows to be rough from volleyball as well as violin. Kenma looks at the joint in between his fingers, trying to remember the name of it before his attention is caught by the lighter in Akaashi's other hand.  
Small smile still on his face, Akaashi lifts up the lighter to the joint and flicks it to life - Kenma's eyes following each of the careful movements. The younger lights the joint before moving the lighter away and letting the flame die out. He looks over at the pudding head as he sets the lighter down, smile widening a tiny bit at the look of curiosity in the older one's eyes.   
The taller boy walks over, sitting in front of Kenma as the other leans forward. "You'll have a coughing fit if you try this on your own," he says, voice soft as he lifts the non-lit end of the joint to his lips. The one raven haired male breathes, holding in the smoke as he lowers the joint. Akaashi leans forward, heavily lidded eyes alight with a calm happiness as Kenma parts his own lips in anticipation.   
Finally, Akaashi breathes out, the smoke flowing into Kenma's own mouth while some of it goes into the air and disappears. He leans back as Kenma breathes out with a small cough. The two lovers continue this process, leaning in closer to each other each time until their lips are brushing. Kenma's eyes are lidded by now, the high of the drug mixing with the high of the same calm euphoria that Akaashi's forest green eyes held when they had started this.   
They're both vaguely aware of when their louder boyfriend's come in, both vaguely aware when the door is open and the two take a peek at the intimate exchange between their younger boyfriends. Peacefulness spreads through the whole house now, the sunset's orange light peaking through the windows and the quiet music of Kenma's still paused game plays in the background. Bokuto and Kuroo don't say anything, don't interrupt, just watch as the two boys that they both cherish breath smoke in and let it out - lips brushing and lidded gazes trained on each other.  
When it's all over, Kenma's head falls onto Akaashi's shoulder once more, and Akaashi turns his head to look at the other two that are still standing in the doorway. Nothing is said, but Bokuto and Kuroo both understand and join their boyfriends - all three of them sitting on the floor with nothing on their minds except each other. The smoke still lingers in the air, and Akaashi and Kenma still can feel the high of the drugs in effect, but neither mind the feeling of the calm euphoria swallowing all their worries for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't ever smoke weed (which, yes, is the drug used in this) so i don't really know how it works. Sorry if I got anything wrong about it.  
> All comments and kudos are very appreciated.


	3. 3.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma remembers the bad things easily, and can never seem to forget the things of the past that he so hopelessly tries to push away.

Kenma remembers the bad things so easily, and sometimes while he has nothing better to do he thinks about those memories. Some stick out more than other, like a page that he's bookmarked as important - those are normally the ones he wants to forget but never can. He thinks back to when he was in his last year of high school, thinks back to the night when moonlight poured in through his window and the cold light of his laptop draped across the walls and made the shadows of his face more prominent.  
He remembers his phone lighting up with a call, remembers his hand shooting out to grab his phone and look at who the hell decided to call at 1 am. it had been Akaashi, and when he answered he was greeted by quiet broken sobs that had struck through his heart without warning and broke him out of his state of being half asleep.  
Akaashi rarely cries, and when he does it's never something to take lightly. "Open the door," Is all the other had said before hanging up, and Kenma had hurried to fulfill the request as panic wormed it's way into his thoughts. The small blonde quietly ran down stairs, opening the door only to be greeted by the sight of Akaashi waiting - a hand covering his mouth as he held back sobs.  
The older didn't ask any questions, knew they wouldn't help anything, and instead pulled Akaashi inside and closed the door - knowing that the cold wind of the winter night wouldn't be a helpful factor. Kenma's golden eyed gaze moved over to Akaashi, taking in the sight of the now-captain of the Fukurodani volleyball team and one of his boyfriends crying before pulling the taller male into a hug.  
Kenma, who has never been good with comforting anyone, didn't exactly know what to do or say. He settled for holding the other close right now though, fingers running through the other setter's short black hair. He could feel tears soaking into his shirt, but didn't mind it one bit as he knew that Akaashi needed to cry to get out whatever emotions were tearing his normally calm self apart.  
Later, when the other had stopped crying, the two went up to Kenma's room and settled in his bed. Warm blankets were thrown over their bodies, limbs tangled as they kept close to each other. Still, even now that the worst had passed, Kenma didn't ask any question, and instead settled for lacing his and Akaashi's fingers together while a silent I'm sorry passed through the air of the cold winter night.  
After, when the two had fallen into a troubled sleep together, Akaashi explained what had happened. Of course, it had something to do with his traditional and quite frankly controlling parents. Of course, it had something to do with Akaashi refusing to quit the volleyball team once again, as well as his relationships with Bokuto, Kuroo, and Kenma.  
Kenma didn't say anything as Akaashi gave the explanation, just kept the other close until he had finished. Saying nothing still, the other pressed a quick kiss to the taller one's lips with a silent I love you passing through them. When they had parted, the ravenette's I love you too was said through the lidded gaze that was only ever reserved for him, or one of their other boyfriends.  
The two had fallen back to sleep afterwards, fingers laced together and limbs tangled while the orange of the sunrise filtered in through Kenma's closed blinds.  
Kenma can remember more nights like this, many more nights of their sleeps being troubled with anxiety that never seemed to disappear and nightmares that made them seek out each other while their older boyfriends were away at uni and they only had each other's comfort. Kenma remembers Akaashi comforting him, bringing him down from panic attacks and sudden depression that came with the biting cold of winter. He remembers the times he comforted Akaashi, silent 'I love you's and 'I'm sorry's filling the air as broken sobs fell from the other's lips each night things became too much for the younger to handle.  
Kenma remembers the bad things easily, and can never seem to forget the things of the past that he so hopelessly tries to push away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another lowkey shitty chapter I wrote since I'm in a good mood.  
> I got one of my friends to read it before i even published or edited it though, they said it was good.


End file.
